A chuckle a day keeps the misery away

Photo credit: Pixabay

Little Johnny

1. Little Johnny’s irritated mom sends him back to bed for the tenth time that evening.

“Johnny,” she says, “If I hear one more “Mommy. I want this; I want that” you’ll be in big trouble! I don’t want to hear the word ‘Mommy’ again tonight. Now off to bed you go!”

There’s a short pause.”Well then,” Johnny says hesitantly, “Mrs. Smith, may I have a glass of water please?”

2. Little Johnny is visiting his wealthy uncle’s home when he accidentally breaks an old vase. The uncle is upset and yells, “Do you know how old the vase was?” It was from the 17th century!”

“Phew,” Johnny says, “at least it wasn’t new.”

3. Teacher: “Johnny, I want you to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defence and detail.” Johnny thinks for a moment. “Okay,” he says.”Da feet of da duck went

over da fence before da tail.”

Monkeying around:

When a zoo’s gorilla dies, the zookeeper hires an actor to don a costume and act like an ape until the zoo can get another one.

In the cage, the actor makes faces, swings around, and draws a huge crowd. He then sits crawls across a partition and swings above the lion’s cage, infuriating the animal. But the actor stays in

character – until he loses his grip and falls into the cage.

Terrified, the actor shouts, “Help! Help me!”

Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers, “Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?”


A little boy runs to his grandfather and asks him if he can speak like a frog, “Of course not” replies Granddad.

A few minutes later his granddaughter comes running up, and asks the same question, “No, of course not” the grandfather replies,

“Why are you and your brother asking me if I can speak like a frog?”

Because, the little girl replies, “Dad said that when you croak we can go to DisneyLand.”

Pam Stahlhut

Reveshni Moodley

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